Tuesday, August 28

I cannot believe I managed to remember everyone's name today. Getting late in my age, I now have a horrible horrible memory, though actually I should accredit that to bad habits, I was damn proud of myself. Hell, I have to think of my own name when someone asks. I get so nervous getting up in front of class, probably not a good sign for a public relations major. But it is something to work on.. I think it is something about people your own age or something. Of course, I should feel the best in my life I have ever felt about myself now.. Since I have been in Hattiesburg I have lost nearly 70 pounds and pretty much turned into a different person, or so I like to think.

I wish I could just figure out what I am doing with my career path. It is somewhat depressing to go to class and hear other students talk about what they want to do when they graduate and I end up looking like a deer in headlight. And I don't need the "everyone figures it out, it takes time" bullshit.. I know what I want to do when I grow up, though it is not really acceptable or possible today, but I want to be a mom more than anything. Not by tomorrow by any means, but I was raised on strong family values and they have been crushed and descending ever since my Dad passed away almost 10 years ago, and it looks like I cannot fix my own family, so I want to spend my life raising my own and creating that family bond. It used to be such an important part of my life and it has been gone for so long. I guess that is also accompanied by having a meth-head for a brother back at home.

Either way, you cannot live on the non-exist wage of raising kids, taxi-driver, office-manager, accountant, and many of the other jobs that a mom holds... so you are pretty much forced into education and a career... and that brings me here into Public Relations... something I really know nothing about, though I am in the class this semester to find out, but something I have always been told I'd excel in. I guess we'll see

katy was shot at 6:38 PM